This chapter relates specifically to my required entry regarding: Wedding dreams. I can say with almost 100% satisfaction; most everybody wants to get married at some point in their life. Additionally, I would assume that children who grow up with 2 parents are on top of that list. However, children who grow up with only one parent, I can too see why they would want to marry to provide their children with something they did not have growing up.
It is in our human nature. God made Adam and Eve, because Adam was lonely. We have a natural desire to have a partner with whom we can share our life with. Understandably, you don’t have to be married to do so, but it makes things easier. Society makes it normal to marry, have children and to be sure that when you do marry you provide a public celebration of your love and marriage with a ceremony and a reception party.
These things are costly and are done even when the financial resources are unavailable. Loans are taken out, money is borrowed, all to achieve this fantasy wedding that most likely the woman is fantasizing about and requesting. Who doesn’t dream of having a storybook wedding like Kate Middleton and Prince William or even Kim Kardashian and Kanye West? I’m sure if we could all afford it, we would all have that kind of wedding but sadly enough, we all can’t.
There are corners that must be cut, people that probably become uninvited or scratched off of the guest list due to high cost in the seating venue and feeding them. It is no easy task to have a beautiful wedding without becoming financially in debt. Obviously, if the couple is wealthy this is not a problem.
The one good thing in the Mexican culture is that we get “Padrinos & Madrinas” to help out. In other words, we assign a “godparent” or “god person”, I’m not exactly sure how that would translate but essentially every person in the family who is willing to help gets assigned one thing. For example, my auntie will say I can help with the food. My uncle says I will buy all the beer, because there has to be beer at my wedding, and so on. Our expectation is that our family is so large, everyone will pitch in a bit without it being too overwhelming to the bride and groom who put out what’s left.
Nowadays, things are so different. When I was 20, I was married and having my first child by 21. I had both my parents back then to help me organize. They knew so many people in Tracy. My wedding was taken care of without a single problem from the amount of love and support I received because of my parents well standing relationships and family. Now, if I were to ever remarry, that is not an option as both of my parents have passed. I either need to marry somebody who can afford to pay for it all, or not have a ceremony/reception wedding. Which to be honest, I’m totally okay with a catered backyard or beach small, intimate wedding. I did the big thing once; I don’t really need the show again. However, my boyfriend has never been married and I’m afraid he may want the show.
If my boyfriend and I got married, which he asks me all of the time (not with a ring, of course), but I continue to say no until I receive my bachelor’s degree. Then we can talk. I’d like to ensure that when he asks at least I’m out of school and can help financially, with whatever is needed. We would be a blended family, as I’m still raising my 7-year-old who loves him very much. It will be interesting to see the dynamics of blended families and how it all works out in the end. Blended families are the new norm and it just seems to be today’s new modern thing.
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