It’s no wonder police brutality has become a new norm in the United States. Based on this chapter, unless you show brutal force you are not revered by your partners. What kind of shit is this that within weeks, rookies have switched from wooden batons to powerful plastic nightsticks based on the encouragement of their colleagues to arm themselves more street worthy in order to attack with more force? This is nuts! How is it possible that the recruits are taught one thing but once they join the force, they are encouraged to do another; by the means of degrading them or gossip or risk of being isolated?

I am seriously in shock. I too thought that you have to be a certain kind of person to want to go into the police force. I wouldn’t say necessarily have sadistic tendencies, but I would say a tough demeanor with an intense backbone. You have to know that violence will be a part of your everyday life, and if not violence, just negative people and always being in danger.

Police, just like prison guards, when given power we can imagine that they are going to exploit their power when possible. Of course, some more than others. I can see two sides to this. The first, being the cop who is always trying to do the right thing but gets crapped on by officers for being too weak and submissive, making them an untrustworthy partner. There is no doubt that in this field, no officer wants to be regarded to as weak and incompetent. I can see how pressure and encouragement, however negative, can make them become aggressive and not hesitate to use their weapons and apply force or shoot when they deem necessary.

The other is the officer who already comes in aggressive and is encouraged to behave this way all of the time. That gives them an extra pep in their step which encourages them to be trigger happy and go around killing people, no matter if they are children or teenagers. If they fear for their life, without the knowledge of the “perpetrator” having a gun, they will shoot as we have seen in the media time and time again.

There’s no question that a police officer has one of the scariest and most dangerous jobs of all. I commend them and the military for their service, of course. There is also no question that the things they must deal with on a daily basis makes them suspect of everybody causing them to search for an immediate resolution but to fire an arm without knowledge of a gun, or to beat somebody with a baton because the person wouldn’t back down is sort of unreasonable.

The other day, I received a notification. It said, “Stockton man, shot by police officer.” I got curious so I clicked on the article. I couldn’t believe what I read. It mentioned that the man was obviously on drugs and waving a bat around and when the police got there, he would not stop waving the bat, so apparently one of the officers shot him. Just like that he’s now fighting for his life. Actually, if I’m correct, he died. I will look for the article, and if I can find it I will attach it here. The point is, I don’t know if that is a legal basis for shooting someone. I would assume that with 2 police officers there, they would be able to control this man through obvious brutal force, but a bullet? I don’t know about that!

https://www.kron4.com/news/man-armed-with-a-bat-shot-by-police-in-stockton_20190505145744/1980590138

 

Structural functional theory is a sociological theory by Talcott Parson’s. It says that
society is a system in which codependent parts labor together to maintain stability. Within this society, there is function and dysfunction.  This theory includes harmony, stability, and slow change. There is different function within this theory.

First, there is manifest functions. Structural Functionalists are interested in looking at the functions of education. They look at different things such as transmission of knowledge and their reading, writing and arithmetic. They also look at how immigrants send their children to school and the kids are forced to integrate socially amongst their peers. They are interested in how mobile you are in society. This basically means you get a career, you get more money, therefore, you get more stuff. They see how stratified you are I society. There is basically a hierarchy of social stratification and where you are on it is based on how much education you got, and where you got it from. If you got if from Princeton, then it puts you higher on that social stratification level than if you graduated from Stanislaus, with the same degrees.  The last manifest function is Research Institutions & Development. Apparently, I learned their goal is not to provide undergraduates with an education but to do research and bring money into the University.

The second function is latent functions. These functions allow us to receive free childcare by sending our child to school when he is old enough on the tax payers dollar. I never looked at it that way until now. Also, education because as we were taught it helps keep the unemployment rates low. If everybody is trying to better their life by getting an education then we won’t be out looking for jobs and if they are unavailable, then requesting unemployment to survive. Lastly, it is unspoken that when we are in school, that is where we will find our mate. We are among other students with the same goals that we have so it would make sense that amongst all these students you might be lucky enough to find love. Good luck for those of you seeking love, I can barely make a friend at school.

One of the things social conflict theorists are interested in are the stuff that is taught at school but is not exactly on the syllabus. These things include having respect for authorities and how to be on time. Another which I clearly remember being a part of as a kid was tracking. I remember being in elementary school and I had another little friend that was also first generation Mexican-American and was also learning to speak English. I remember I could read well but she couldn’t, and we were always separated during reading time by colors. She had to get up and leave to the library and I always got to stay. I clearly remember her telling me she was in the dumb group because nobody in her group could read. That is such a horrible thing. It doesn’t make sense to separate students based on knowledge within the same class. I can see how some would think so but that is where the self-fulfilling prophecy takes place. Where she knows she’s in the dumb group, therefore she thinks she’s dumb. The last thing I did actually like about this theory is that something finally makes sense: social privilege turns into personal merit meaning we actually gain merit for something we solely worked hard to achieve.

How frightening is this, that one bad diagnosis on a mentally unhealthy and possibly unstable day can lead you to deal with a medical diagnosis you can never get rid of or the stigma attached to it?  The “mark of inadequacy label, sticks forever.” How frightening is it for me who is going into the undergraduate psychology program at Stanislaus State to think of being in a capacity to wrongfully label someone something that they are forced to live with the rest of their life. Kind of makes me happy I’m not trying to be a Psychiatrist where I’m forced to deal with the abnormalities of mental health and labeling them.

My girlfriend suffers from depression, anxiety, and OCD. I wouldn’t know if it wasn’t because she has decided to become open about her situation with hopes to bring awareness to mental illness and suicide prevention. The other day her facebook post read the following:

“Journal entry: 11-29-17.

“I woke up late this morning because I was up all-night crying. I don’t know why. I was just sad and scared that this is my new normal. Sitting in church today all I could do was sob. The really ugly sob that discontorts your face. I probably sounded like I was snorting because I was trying so hard (but failing) to hold back the tears. I’m suffering, I’m drowning. But nobody knows. Nobody can see the pain because I wear a mask. But I was reminded today, through a sermon, that it’s okay to not be okay. And although I want to give up, I want to run and hide, I want to wear my mask, I won’t. I’ll take it off and let people know I’m not okay. And I’ll let them know that I’ll never judge them when they aren’t okay. – May is mental health awareness month. I wrote these words during my darkest season with a sliver of hope that someday they would bring light. If you are struggling through ANY form of mental illness, there is hope! It’s okay to not be okay, just don’t give up! Reach out and ask for help!”

After I read this, I was in tears. It is true that there are many people suffering from mental health issues but because of the stigmas attached to these, they don’t want to come forward. Many choose to suffer alone because as we have seen they become labeled by an abnormal psychological mental illness that carries with them forever and they don’t want that for themselves. I am very happy that my girlfriend is not afraid and is an advocate for others suffering as well.

It is obvious something has to be done. The research is out there. We see what is happening between sane and insane people and the overlap in between them. As Rosenhan said, we can all agree that if we were diagnosed with cancer and it was a misdiagnosis we would be celebrating. There should be no reason one cannot be cured from their mental illness as well.

 

The letter from the prisoner which came as a plea for prison reform reminded me so much of the Netflix show, “Escape from Dannemora.” The prisoner in this chapter pleading for reform in prison. He goes on to state that the mistreatment he has received had now changed his whole mindset and how all he can think about now is just killing the ones who have mistreated him and made him lose his sense of self and dignity. Basically, he stated that all looks forward to in life is killing those who treated him like a dog without further regard to what that will actually mean if he does become free to kill.

In “Escape from Dannemora,” it is a true story about a lady jailhouse worker who helped two inmates escape.  In the beginning she is having sex with one of them, but then his friend gets in on it and she has sex with both of them, not at the same time. I won’t ruin the Netflix show but she is supposed to have a car waiting for them and when she second guesses herself and has a panic attack, she ends up in the hospital unavailable to the two men who just escaped from jail and needed her to be waiting for extraction. Long story short, one of the men was so mad she didn’t show up he no longer cared about his freedom. All he cared about was going to hurt her and kill her and her family if they were in the way. All he could see was red. Luckily, the friend talked him out of heading into town and they fled away instead. (You’ll have to watch the show to know how it ends.)

It’s important to realize how your thought process can become glazed over by thoughts of anger and aggression when your dignity and self-worth and identity are stripped from you like the clothes of a new inmate. There’s no doubt in my mind that creating a mock prison could have many lasting effects on those being deprived the normalcies of their daily life. There is no doubt that also giving prison guards power over the people allows them to feel like gods and overpower those that are in their command vulnerably. Simulating roles, however short or long can change even the most intelligent person when dehumanizing them is the goal.

 

This chapters read should really come with a warning label. I had just sat down to have my delicious salad that I made for myself with so much love. I cut up romaine lettuce, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, avocados, croutons and I splashed a mixture of cilantro & avocado plus Italian dressing over it. I was about to go in big on probably my 2^nd bite when I read the first two introductory paragraphs to this chapter. I literally almost spit it out. I tried to begin the first paragraph past the introduction, and I can feel my throat getting thick. There is no way I’m having lunch now. I put foil over my salad, put it in my fridge, went outside to my patio and continued to read. What was a starving woman 2 minutes ago, now cannot even think about food for some time. Who knows actually how long? I have a weak stomach and amazing gag impulses when something is disgusting.

Nonetheless, this story is absolutely heartbreaking. My heart goes out to all the survivors and to those who couldn’t survive based on their values of not eating the dead bodies. It’s easy to think what one would have done under those circumstances, but truth be told, your perception changes as you are being challenged and your chances of survival are minimizing by the day. Everybody wants to live. Everyone wants to survive a plane crash. Not many do. What these people, some children, had to do in order to stay alive, after their wreckage was brutal.

Essentially, these survivors had to brain wash themselves into believing that because they were dead, and their souls were gone they were now meat. I can’t imagine all of the corpses laying covered in snow just waiting to be cut up and left like a dead carcass after a lion eats the flesh. It was also fascinating that one of the boys, Parrado, said to them that if need be, they could eat his mom and sister. I literally started crying.  It moved me, but not in a good way. It just made me realize how terrible the circumstances must have been out there that the reality of his mom and sister being eaten was now just a topic of survival. I could and would never allow my child to be eaten.

This story was very moving and heartbreaking. It literally made me feel debilitated. One thing is for a mentally insane person for example Hannibal Lector to go around eating people and enjoying cannibalism, but another is to eat your friends and family for survival. It literally became survival of the fittest. The strongest, just as social stratification has shown, were at the top with more perks and the weaker ones were in levels below. Just as we are taught that in society there are levels of hierarchy, this is an easy example of how they are socially constructed and how beliefs are manifested to change as long as one person gets the next to agree and so on.

 

It is interesting to begin a chapter with a certain assumption of what I will be reading and have my thoughts provoked by information that actually seems to make sense. I found myself agreeing to all of the ways that family and marriages were being described from the 1950’s forward. My parents were extremely old school and also 19 years apart. I won’t mention how young my mom was, because if you’re anything like me, you’ll want to barf at the thought.

My dad brought my mom from Mexico in the 60’s and 70’s so that she could have her children in America, then he would take her and the born child back to Mexico. Not being American had a lot of consequences on my family. We were not encouraged by my parents to go to school, just like this read states. Wives, specifically my mom, was ignored by her spouse. She had to do all o the cooking and cleaning. He had nothing to do with the child rearing.

This chapter is so on point because it states that children were working, and the mom stayed home but when child labor was abolished, the women went out into the work force. That is insane because that is exactly what happened. By the time my brother was growing up, it was nothing like me.  There were laws against age and how old you needed to be to work. I didn’t have that! I was helping in the cherry fields and apricot fields since my childhood and once I started high school, I was working at Mc Donald’s by 14. As we got older, my mom found it necessary to go out into the workforce as there was no more children to supplement the incomes as easily as it used to be.

Another thing I found interesting is that “for the first time, a generation of adults must plan for the needs of both their parents and their children.” That actually made me gasp. Unfortunately, that doesn’t apply to me since my parents have passed. How I would have loved to take my parents in when they were too old to care for themselves. However, this does apply to my 21-year-old son. Although, thankfully, he does not have any children yet and he doesn’t foresee any in the future, I can see how in 25 -30 years this becomes something worth talking about as he is my eldest and my other son is 7. I always tell him he must return the favor. I had to wipe his butt for many years and someday he may have to do the same. 😊

This chapter relates specifically to my required entry regarding: Wedding dreams. I can say with almost 100% satisfaction; most everybody wants to get married at some point in their life.  Additionally, I would assume that children who grow up with 2 parents are on top of that list. However, children who grow up with only one parent, I can too see why they would want to marry to provide their children with something they did not have growing up.

It is in our human nature. God made Adam and Eve, because Adam was lonely. We have a natural desire to have a partner with whom we can share our life with. Understandably, you don’t have to be married to do so, but it makes things easier. Society makes it normal to marry, have children and to be sure that when you do marry you provide a public celebration of your love and marriage with a ceremony and a reception party.

These things are costly and are done even when the financial resources are unavailable. Loans are taken out, money is borrowed, all to achieve this fantasy wedding that most likely the woman is fantasizing about and requesting.  Who doesn’t dream of having a storybook wedding like Kate Middleton and Prince William or even Kim Kardashian and Kanye West? I’m sure if we could all afford it, we would all have that kind of wedding but sadly enough, we all can’t.

There are corners that must be cut, people that probably become uninvited or scratched off of the guest list due to high cost in the seating venue and feeding them. It is no easy task to have a beautiful wedding without becoming financially in debt. Obviously, if the couple is wealthy this is not a problem.

The one good thing in the Mexican culture is that we get “Padrinos & Madrinas” to help out. In other words, we assign a “godparent” or “god person”, I’m not exactly sure how that would translate but essentially every person in the family who is willing to help gets assigned one thing. For example, my auntie will say I can help with the food. My uncle says I will buy all the beer, because there has to be beer at my wedding, and so on. Our expectation is that our family is so large, everyone will pitch in a bit without it being too overwhelming to the bride and groom who put out what’s left.

Nowadays, things are so different. When I was 20, I was married and having my first child by 21. I had both my parents back then to help me organize. They knew so many people in Tracy. My wedding was taken care of without a single problem from the amount of love and support I received because of my parents well standing relationships and family. Now, if I were to ever remarry, that is not an option as both of my parents have passed. I either need to marry somebody who can afford to pay for it all, or not have a ceremony/reception wedding. Which to be honest, I’m totally okay with a catered backyard or beach small, intimate wedding. I did the big thing once; I don’t really need the show again. However, my boyfriend has never been married and I’m afraid he may want the show.

If my boyfriend and I got married, which he asks me all of the time (not with a ring, of course), but I continue to say no until I receive my bachelor’s degree. Then we can talk. I’d like to ensure that when he asks at least I’m out of school and can help financially, with whatever is needed. We would be a blended family, as I’m still raising my 7-year-old who loves him very much. It will be interesting to see the dynamics of blended families and how it all works out in the end. Blended families are the new norm and it just seems to be today’s new modern thing.

A social norm that I observed being broken was when an individual was not making eye contact with me when I was speaking with him. When I engaged in a conversation he would not speak, and he would stare in the opposite direction but nowhere near where I was looking. There came a point where he was almost looking behind him, so I looked behind him to stare at what he was looking at but nobody or nothing was there.

I found it uncomfortable and a lack of respect and I felt like I was being ignored. I did not know whether I should continue the conversation. I am a person who makes eye contact to show respect. My dad always said, if you are talking with someone, you look them in the eyes when they’re talking to you. You engage in that conversation by looking them in their eyes.

I have never experienced something like this. It was unusual. I don’t feel that neither age, nor gender, nor race, nor class had anything to do with the reason this person could not make eye contact. It was uncomfortably not a social norm and it affected my ability to hold a conversation with him because something wouldn’t allow me to continue. Our interaction made me feel uneasy and it was extremely awkward so I could not continue this.

I have always taught my son to look at me when I’m talking to him. He tries to look right or left almost in defiance. I pound this in his head on a daily basis because he has always tried to defy authority but even him, I could get to look at me. This guy absolutely would not. There is nothing more than to say it was one of the most awkward experiences I’ve ever had.

When my son started kindergarten, he had already been socialized and knew the ins and outs of school. He had been in daycare since he was 6 months old and was used to following rules and playing with others. When he started kindergarten, his teacher told me he was very advanced and way ahead of all the other students in her class. He had been at Delta Daycare since he was 3 and prior to that at a preschool style daycare.

There is no doubt that the role of the kindergarten teacher is not to teach a child how to behave as most kids already know to be nice, play nice, and share. Most already know to not hit others and how to use their words. I feel that the biggest role teachers provide at such a young age is the rigid set of routine and structure in the school day that teaches a child how to listen and follow directions. A child is taught from the morning where to hang his coat, where he needs to sit, when he can talk by raising his hand, when recess is, when lunch is, when nap time is. It is a necessary repeated daily school routine that instills growth and understanding and learning to these children.

They become well-organized and learn appropriate and acceptable school behaviors. They learn that socialization is necessary, and they understand that how they behave has effects on everybody through reward and punishment. They behave well, they get rewarded for that good behavior, but when they behave badly, they get punished for it. This plays B.F. Skinner’s Operant Conditioning into effect where if you behave well, you get a reward but if you don’t you get nothing or are punished. There was a funny clip on Big Ban Theory regarding this, actually.

I have always wondered why a teacher on the very first day of school can get my 7-year-old to behave so well in school, within minutes of their first encounter, but I’ve been raising him for 7 years and I can’t get him to behave the way I would like. That has always boggled my mind. I put in all the hard work. I put in all of the time and effort. I am supportive. I am loving. I do homework with him. I take him to Taekwondo. These are all things that as a single mom I do alone with him. He lives with me full time. Yet, I am regarded as the bad mom or the mean mom. I can never get that.  I am the only one giving everything and I am the one that feels unloved and disrespected. It’s pretty sad how dad is the best and does “everything for him” yet, he only sees him the 2^nd and 4^th weekends of the month. I don’t get it!

In the end, we hope that teachers give our children the most they can in regard to education and that our children allow themselves to be teachable. We hope that they are agreeable and allow creativity to expand their minds.

 

I believe that a girl from the time she can imagine, fantasizes about her fairytale wedding. She imagines and dreams about how amazing everything will be that day from her beautiful white gown to her hair and make up. She imagines the bridesmaids and the lacy dresses they wear. She can see the church or beach or resort getaway wedding. Every girl has a different picture in her head as to what her hopes and dreams are when she is married.

We read a lot of books when we are kids, especially Disney that teaches us to fall hopelessly, romantically in love with a guy, that one and true special soulmate that someday you will find.  He’s just supposed to appear into your life like poof, and magic, there he is. Just as you pictured him, tall, dark, & handsome.  You can picture your event going as planned full of smiles and happiness. You are filled with this imaginary ideology that this day and your man is filled with perfectness and nothing can go wrong.

Unfortunately, what they fail to tell us as little girls is that we have to kiss a whole lot of damn frogs to even come close to anything worth trying to get into a relationship with these days.  They fail to inform us and educate us that the wedding we dreamed of our whole life is going to cost us our home. The money that we could put on a down payment to start our home instead will need to be used on our wedding to pay the venue, the caterers, the wedding planner, the cake lady, the decorations, and now there is the brides and groom gifts to the maids and grooms men not to mention when you ask them, there is now a gift for that as well.

It has become such a ritual of events that have to happen and the judgment upon which either you fail or thrive with. My girlfriend just asked me to be the maid of honor at her wedding. To be honest, she doesn’t want the marriage, she wants the wedding. I wish there was something I could do but there isn’t. My job is to shut my mouth and be there for her. She knows he makes good money so she wants it all. The expensive dress, the venue, the bridesmaids and grooms, the gifts, all of it. She doesn’t care the expense (that’s because she’s not paying for it.)

Weddings have escalated into something a girl dreams of but I’m wondering if now it’s just the wedding but not necessarily the marriage. I understand that some people truly do have romantic love and want to marry but what I don’t understand is the debt I have seen friends putting themselves into, to achieve this ideal wedding that society and our social norms say we must have. They don’t own a house, why not use that money instead and have a small intimate wedding in their back yard when they buy one? Is that so bad? Apparently, it is. I’ve asked.

What I used to think people were looking for was the marriage of their dreams. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that is not at all what couples, specifically women, are looking for. They are looking for the wedding of their dreams and the man that can provide that for them.