I believe that a girl from the time she can imagine, fantasizes about her fairytale wedding. She imagines and dreams about how amazing everything will be that day from her beautiful white gown to her hair and make up. She imagines the bridesmaids and the lacy dresses they wear. She can see the church or beach or resort getaway wedding. Every girl has a different picture in her head as to what her hopes and dreams are when she is married.
We read a lot of books when we are kids, especially Disney that teaches us to fall hopelessly, romantically in love with a guy, that one and true special soulmate that someday you will find. He’s just supposed to appear into your life like poof, and magic, there he is. Just as you pictured him, tall, dark, & handsome. You can picture your event going as planned full of smiles and happiness. You are filled with this imaginary ideology that this day and your man is filled with perfectness and nothing can go wrong.
Unfortunately, what they fail to tell us as little girls is that we have to kiss a whole lot of damn frogs to even come close to anything worth trying to get into a relationship with these days. They fail to inform us and educate us that the wedding we dreamed of our whole life is going to cost us our home. The money that we could put on a down payment to start our home instead will need to be used on our wedding to pay the venue, the caterers, the wedding planner, the cake lady, the decorations, and now there is the brides and groom gifts to the maids and grooms men not to mention when you ask them, there is now a gift for that as well.
It has become such a ritual of events that have to happen and the judgment upon which either you fail or thrive with. My girlfriend just asked me to be the maid of honor at her wedding. To be honest, she doesn’t want the marriage, she wants the wedding. I wish there was something I could do but there isn’t. My job is to shut my mouth and be there for her. She knows he makes good money so she wants it all. The expensive dress, the venue, the bridesmaids and grooms, the gifts, all of it. She doesn’t care the expense (that’s because she’s not paying for it.)
Weddings have escalated into something a girl dreams of but I’m wondering if now it’s just the wedding but not necessarily the marriage. I understand that some people truly do have romantic love and want to marry but what I don’t understand is the debt I have seen friends putting themselves into, to achieve this ideal wedding that society and our social norms say we must have. They don’t own a house, why not use that money instead and have a small intimate wedding in their back yard when they buy one? Is that so bad? Apparently, it is. I’ve asked.
What I used to think people were looking for was the marriage of their dreams. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that is not at all what couples, specifically women, are looking for. They are looking for the wedding of their dreams and the man that can provide that for them.
Monika's Blog 