There is no disagreement here that men and women have different approaches in all things. We see things differently, we are offended by different things, we joke in different manners, and we don’t take criticism as well as men do. I am the first one to say that I do not take criticism very well. I am a huge crybaby and kind of shy when out of my element, so criticism is a tough one. It’s not that I have a problem with what they say to me for example in a job setting, it’s that the worst feeling I hate to feel is embarrassment. Embarrassment for me is something that comes with uncontrollable flushing and sometimes tears.
The minute somebody says something to me in a manner that made me feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, I become almost offended and it causes the blood to rush to my head. Once that happens, I may or may not cry. I doubt that men have these types of feelings. It’s so horrible because it makes me feel weak. Let’s not even get into arguments and actual fighting because then I go really weak.
When I was in middle school there was a girl that came from the bay and she liked my boyfriend. She was a mean girl and caused a lot of drama. One day, she stepped up to me with her finger in my face, yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs the things she was going to do to me. Me, being non-combative and again, anti-embarassment, I started yelling back as the tears were dropping from my face. I was willing to fight if she hit me, however the screaming match caused me to immediately cry tears which caused me to become even more embarrassed. Thankfully, we were split apart before she took the first punch and continued to try to fight me until she got expelled from school.
I guess the point is that men and women are so different. Men are aggressive and would have probably both just started swinging without the need to fight with their words the way we did. Men just erupt. I don’t have an eruption button which actually I wish I did. I wish sometimes I could be more aggressive and stand up for myself when things bother me. Instead, I pull back into my little shell.
I will say this, about myself. When I became a bartender it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I wasn’t looking for a job when the owner approached me and asked me if I was in “the business” when I lived in Danville. At first, I’m sure you can imagine what I thought with that question but then he went on to say that he was looking for a bartender for his restaurant. I told him I had never bartended before and I was a loan officer at the time, not exactly looking for a job. He stated he needed me for Saturday and Sunday so to show up on Monday to interview and I was hired on the spot.
Bartending made me grow balls. It gave me strength. The intimidated scared little girl left that bar a woman. I was made, because I didn’t have a choice, to get a backbone. I was always a social butterfly but being a bartender gave me wings and forced me to fly. Boy did I fly. I learned to joke like boys. I learned to dish it out, and even better I learned to take it. I learned that messages are spoken in different manners. Some are subtle, some are soft and beating around the bush, and some are just straight up. It’s good to be able to understand all.
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